Police say a man was taken into custody last night after attempting to steal a goose from a local park — but according to witnesses, the goose handled the situation long before officers ever showed up.
Authorities reported that the man had apparently chased the bird around the park for several minutes, trying to grab it and stuff it into a large bag he brought with him. What he didn’t expect, however, was that the goose wasn’t planning to be anyone’s easy target. Instead of fleeing, the bird turned around and launched what onlookers described as a “full-scale counterattack.”
By the time officers arrived, they found the man sprawled on the cold ground, frantically shouting for help while desperately shielding his head. Standing over him was the goose — looking every bit like an enraged security guard — its wings stretched to full size, hissing loudly, and refusing to allow him even an inch of movement. Every time he attempted to sit up, the bird would lunge forward menacingly, forcing him back down.
Officers had to distract the goose long enough to safely detain the man, who was more than willing to be taken into custody just to get away from his feathered assailant. In the end, police joked that the goose had already performed “the arrest” on its own.
One responding officer summed up the bizarre scene in a single, unforgettable line:
“Honestly… the goose did our job for us.”